Despite all this, I do think we have a wonderful relationship. All rights reserved. I keep looking for advice and leaning on friends and family, but it's hard to talk to him about stuff sometimes because he feels like I'm attacking him. But it could also just be something you are going through maybe it will pass! Even to the point of looking at apartments together and then not following through. I've set back into depression, and started seeing someone, but I still don't excuse the hurt. Is it impolite to attend the reception but not the wedding ceremony? Not excited about the wedding | Talk About Marriage PS. Hang in there sister and try to relax when you can.. You'll get excited again : ). If your problem really is anxiety about all of this . I've started comfort eating and don't fit in my dress anymore. Obviously, the birth of my kids is def at the top of the list (um aside from the ridiculous pain, blood, sweat and tears), but there have also been plenty of somewhat mundane days that have just been awesome simply because I spent it with my hus See what I'm getting at? What happens after your married when you need support with something he isn't interested in? Planning a wedding can be so exciting in the beginning, but that's when you don't realize the stress involved. Please do not take what I say as being rude as I do not mean it to be but just someone that is kind of in your shoes and understands. There are three objectives of a wedding, and each has a price. You can absolutely go alone and together. My fiance is absolutely NOT interested in the wedding. I dont think that him not wanting a wedding is concerning, but how he is acting towards you and how he is making you feel speaks volumes. He made no more mention of getting engaged. There are a number of reasons why someone could have doubts about their wedding. PERIOD. If you dont want a wedding ceremony, what should you do? This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Feeling that other people are controlling the path to marriage and the wedding are also not good things. The ultimate goal is marrying the man you love and not how grandiose your wedding is. It is important to remember, however, that boredom is not the same thing as being comfortable. I am not excited about our wedding. What can I do about it? I thought many, many times about saying "Let's just go to Vegas!" When it finally does come time to plan your celebration, know that you really can do it on your own terms. How can you explain to your family that you dont want to get married? I can hear one of my least favorite brides reminding me that the "centerpieces really need to 'pop', and be perfect." He is doing the ceremony for me but since he does not like all eyes on him nor wants to spend the money on the big fancy wedding we agreed to elope with two friends and my brother walking me down the aisle. Help! I'm Not Excited for My Wedding | HuffPost Life I want you to know that my situation sounds like yours. All rights reserved. Perfection. NOW. nothing seems important. Wedding Planning Checklists: Your Blueprint for a Perfect Celebration in 2023 and Beyond, Newly Engaged? If things were going my way with the planning, I would be super excited. I have a lot longer to go, but I'm just an indecisive person. I would see the compromise being an elopement or micro-wedding, but you need to find the compromise that is right for you guys as a couple. I think with or without a therapist really sit down and ask what is causing this because maybe he will speak one on one with you as opposed to a stranger. While some of your closest friends and family members might want to hear you declare your love, you can choose to keep it private if you so choose. While making the decision to get married and dedicate your life to your partner, you may have come to the realization that you dont enjoy the actual wedding. When a couple decides to elope, they frequently dont ask anyones permission first, not even their parents. I had always been adamantly against living with someone before marriage. At first when we made this decision I was excited. You may not be excited about your wedding due to stress, nerves or feeling overwhelmed. Simply put, this is where you and your partner honor your commitment to one another. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Pressure. From the moment we told our families they have taken over wedding planning and made it into a big ordeal. Planning a wedding can be so exciting in the beginning, but that's when you don't realize the stress involved. This does not sound like a man who wants to get married. From the cost of the wedding to having family together to the feeling your wedding has to be perfect, its totally understandable that engaged couples often feel over-it, anxious, and even experience pre-wedding depression. But try not to be attached to a particular outcome. Has he acted like this before on other subjects? 10 Signs Your Heart Isn't In The Relationship Anymore back to topic. Well, in my experience, I blame it on the three P's: Pressure, precedence and perfection. "I just found out I'm pregnant and I'm not excited." . The Middle Dutch word lopen, which means run away, is most likely where the word elope came from. However, I also see that you said things have been stressful for you and him and that can always play a part in irrational feelings and reactions. We celebrated after our super quick courthouse elopement. Anyways having a rough go and wondering if others feel the same Reddit, Inc. 2023. Meyer suggests doing so by email, though he says a phone call is, technically, proper etiquette. Find wedding inspiration that fits your style with photos from real couples, Sit back and relax with travel info + exclusive deals for the hottest honeymoon destinations, To unblock this content, please click here. So we compromised and agreed to elope. It's been said time and time again, but communication really is the cornerstone of a strong marriage. You need to find out where all of this is coming from. Youre engaged! Plan your wedding wherever and whenever you want on the WeddingWire App. Check out this list of the best gifts for fiancs that will instantly brighten their day. I'm not looking forward to the wedding anymore. A: Hey BLAH, If you cant find a babysitter who can mind the babies for the entire time or youre not comfortable leaving your kids for that long, you might need to only attend the reception. I definitely agree that a sit down conversation is needed at the very least. Sharing snaps on Instagram is fun, but it's not the most meaningful place to store your favorite memories. If youre going the mental health professional route, heck yes! I definitely don't see it like this, as marriage is not the same, and will bring on a new chapter to life. I would talk to him and try to explain that having a wedding and the events around it are important for you, much like marrying him is. You typically elope to get married without telling anyone in advance. I know that's not what I REALLY want-- it's just the stress of all the decisions (especially since some of my decisions have seriously backfired on me lately, something I'm not really used to). Re: Not excited about the wedding NOLABridesmaid Have you explained to your Fi how you feel? Is it okay to not be excited about wedding? : r/relationship_advice Of course you want your wedding day to be perfect. Or is this lack of enthusiasm about our engagement/wedding a sign that something deeper is wrong? Share with your guests to collect your wedding photos. Delegate responsibilities to your partner, wedding party and trusted friends and family. Mrs.HunterToBe, on April 8, 2016 at 10:29 PM Posted in Planning 28 I'm getting married in 49 days and I'm not excited!! Legally binding ways to get married without a wedding include elopements and civil ceremonies or civil marriages. What is the significance of the wedding ceremony? All Right Reserved. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Now I just want it to be over and done with. Responsibility disclaimer and privacy policy | Site Map. I guess now its just a waiting game for you! 2. Why did he propose? If he won't do pre-marital counseling, call off the wedding. So, if you want to elope or keep things small but are unsure of how to tell your family, read the advice below! I cannot wait to get to July 3, and for us to have a beautiful day, it just has been so stressful. Can My BFF Be My MOH If She Lives Out of the Country? If you're not excited for your wedding, then take a step back and get to the bottom of it before you're stuck with enormous financial responsibility and subsequently, regret. Both viewpoints for the wedding are completely valid, and one isn't more important than the other. Others have concerns about being the center of attention on their wedding day. The excitement has died down since the ring was put on my finger. With everything we just discussed, it's not surprising. For those of you who dont know what a wedding is, let me tell you what you need to know. It is possible to wed without having a ceremony. This might seem like a no-brainer, but when you have a million things happening, this one is easy to forget. She's a wedding planner but I never asked her to plan my wedding. If you don't get excited after that, then make your decision about it. Plenty of brides and grooms experience this at some point during the planning stage, whether its just for a day or for the entire process up to the ceremony and even beyond. It Feels Like My Family is Not Excited I'm Getting - Dive into anything You're busting your ass with all of the details and sh*t still doesn't feel right. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Getting married, no matter how shy yall are, or how overwhelmed at work, or what not, is still cause for celebration. Go on a walk, take yourself to dinner, paint, read something enjoyable. We communicate about everything (including about our lack of pre-marital excitement). What are you LEAST excited or worried about? The Knot Community Everybody is looking at you to take the lead, and maybe you don't want the conch. I was in the same boat just before I found this website. Check out this years best local pros, chosen by couples like you. So we decided to go shop for one this weekend (also suggested by me), but suddenly, I'm finding all this not too exciting anymore. The preferred wedding day breakfast should be protein heavy with limited greasy foods. Any of these gorgeous dresses or, That one chick who's married to that one dude, The Ultimate Guide to Greek Wedding Dances, 7 Ways to Learn More About Wedding Vendors, 32 Spring Wedding Guest Dresses That Are as Fresh as the. It is, of course. Contrary to what the wedding industry would have you believe, if a big party is not important to you, you dont have to spend a fortune on one. We learn about the significance of ceremony in our communities from Geraldton, Washington, celebrant Shell Brown. Wedding magazines are aimed almost exclusively at brides, not grooms. krazykink 1 yr. ago.
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